The Little Boy Lost - Arc 1
by Out-of-Character217
Summary: Leon couldn't deny that a part of him – that small and feeble child who'd always longed for a family – was a considerable motivation for why he and Cloud had come here today. He wanted to give that small boy a chance; the chance he'd never had because for years there had been an unfulfilled and unanswered part of Leon's soul.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This little arc really needs no explanation. It's the culmination of my current obsession with Dad!Strifehart and will contain bits and pieces that come to my mind as and when. Not all of them will connect with each other (though the ones that do will be clearly marked.) however, they will all take place in the same AU world. I hope you enjoy. xxx

* * *

 _'Father, father, where are you going?  
Oh do not walk so fast!  
Speak, father, speak to you little boy,  
Or else I shall be lost.'_

 _The night was dark, no father was there,_  
 _The child was wet with dew;_  
 _The mire was deep, and the child did weep,_  
 _And away the vapour flew._

The Little Boy Lost – William Blake.

 **Little Boy Lost**

Leon stood in the corridor, looking through the glass partition of the door at the small child playing in the room on the other side and felt his apprehension rise to a sickness. For a moment the idea of crossing the threshold seemed insurmountable and he was afraid that after all this time and all of their struggles, he wouldn't be able to go through with it; once he stepped in there, once he met him and became involved in his life, there would be no going back, and the realisation began to fan the flames of Leon's old self-doubt.

"Hey." A soft voice called beside him and Leon wrenched his gaze away from the child to look at his lover, stood next to him. "You having second thoughts?" Cloud asked him.

"No," Leon replied quickly, sliding his eyes back into the room. "Not really." He added, a troubled frown marring his features.

"It's okay if you are, you know."

"I'm not." Leon shot back, maybe a little too forcefully.

"Then what's that look for?" Cloud asked, watching his lover's face with careful attention.

"I… I just…"

As Leon watched the small boy play with his toy rocket, a strange feeling of familiarity stole over him. He knew this boy – _had_ known him – or rather, he had _been_ this boy, once upon a time. Tucked away in the shadowed recesses of his memory, Leon recalled his own childhood and the lonely, empty hours spent waiting for a family that would never come. He could recall keenly what it felt like to be abandoned and unwanted; knew what it was to feel as though he was never really good enough: for a mother or a father, or even a sibling to share in his rejection. He'd been the only child of a dead mother and a long absent father who had never even bothered to come back to claim him, and the pain of that desertion had created wounds that he'd carried with him his entire life. But he was a grown man now, and he'd be damned if he'd let his own shitty life affect anyone else's. With his determination firmly recrystallized, Leon let his shoulders relax and he blew out a stabilising breath, feeling that reassuring alacrity burn in the pit of his stomach once again.

"It's nothing…I'm fine."

"You sure?"

Leon turned to his lover and let his gaze slide over Cloud's face, his eyes blazing gently with that determination that always took Cloud's breath away.

"I'm sure."

As if on cue, their social worker appeared beside them, a gentle smile on her face as she peered through the door to make sure they were ready in the other room.

"Shall we go in?" She said. Leon nodded, swallowing thickly and followed her, feeling the comforting presence of Cloud behind him.

The room was bright and airy; the walls stencilled with cartoons and bright shapes and on the floor playing on the rug in between two couches, sat a small boy. His hair was light brown and his large blue eyes followed the two men as they both sat down on one of the sofas, his gaze wary and tentative.

"Sora, why don't you come over here and say hi?" The social worker said as she sat down on the other couch. Sora flicked his eyes over to her, his concentration broken from his toy rocket as he cradled it in his lap and for a few moments he seemed to stare, as if unsure what was going on.

Cloud felt his anxiety rise. He needed this meeting to go well, if only for Leon's sake more than anyone else's and he watched the social worker shift uncomfortably, her smile somewhat forced as she tried to coax the young boy from his spot to come closer. He was about to suggest that maybe they talk amongst themselves while Sora got used to them being there, when Leon lowered himself to the rug, crossing his legs underneath him and called out in a soft and gentle voice.

"Hey... what you got there?"

Sora looked down into his lap and remembered his toy, lifting it up for the stranger to see, a small triumphant smile beginning to pull at his lips.

"A rocket?" Leon asked, sounding impressed and Cloud felt a small pull on his heart when the boy's smile widened and he nodded, one chubby finger going into his mouth to be chewed on nervously.

"You like rockets?" This time when Sora nodded it was accompanied with a shy giggle and a small shake of the toy in his hands. "What d'you like about em?" Leon asked and Cloud let out the small breath he'd been holding. He felt the apprehension begin to melt away and with a quiet awe he watched his partner as he inched a bit closer to the small child.

They'd been told not to expect too much from their first meeting with Sora. He was a shy child and didn't talk much, but they'd been assured that he was a perfect match for them.

"They fly in outa' space." Came the quiet and mumbled response.

Cloud felt the wide and exultant smile that broke across his face and the small breath of relief that left him in a hushed laugh.

"They do? They must fly really fast to stay up in outer space." Leon responded, a small smile softening his own features. "What else you got?"

Looking to the large box of toys in the corner of the room, Sora picked himself up from the rug and marched over there, cautiously inspecting the contents before selecting a new object and returning it to the carpet, laying a soft and cuddly stuffed duck down by Leon's knee. Standing back, he watched as the strange man picked it up and looked it over.

"Does he have a name?"

Sora shook his head, turning back to the box to pick out another present for the man and recognised a brightly coloured book with a picture of a bird on the front. It was his favourite, and with one arm tucked securely around his toy rocket he picked the book up and carried it over to the man, holding it out for him to take.

"Book." He stated simply, happy that the man had accepted it.

"You want me to read it to you?" Leon asked.

Sora stood there for a long time, eyeing the man up and down, weighing his question until finally, his decision made, he nodded simply and stepped closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder as he negotiated his way into his lap.

Eyes wide with disbelief, Leon watched as the small boy settled himself down, his back pressed up against Leon's chest, calmly waited for the man to start the story, his toy rocket clutched tightly to him. Leon felt the child's heartbeat, small and fast against his chest and smelt the scent of his hair. He felt his llittle fingers as they settled on his own hand, encouraging him to open the cover and start reading and had to fight the overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around his tiny frame and hold him close.

With a quick glance to his right, Leon felt Cloud settle himself beside him, his comforting weight pressed into his side as he struggled to find his voice and with a small effort, the brunet cleared his throat and opened the first page.

Their hour seemed to come to an end far too soon, and when the social worker, who had been watching them the whole time, finally coughed subtly and rose from her seat, Leon looked up from the tower they were building and noticed the time.

"I guess we gotta go." He told the boy, handing him another block. Sora took it from him and placed it clumsily on top of the pile they had been building, standing back to admire their work with a shy smile.

"Can we come back and see you again?" Leon asked, sitting up.

Sora looked between the two men, as if assessing them before he nodded.

"Sora, what do we do when we say goodbye?" The woman spoke, her tone gentle as she smiled down at him. The boy placed his rocket on the ground and waddled over to Leon, placing his arms around his neck and hugged him briefly, overbalancing slightly and falling into his lap.

With an embarrassed chuckle, Leon righted the small boy and watched as he waddled over to Cloud and did the same, his little chubby arms struggling to reach around Cloud's broad shoulders.

As they followed the social worker out of the room, Leon couldn't help but look back at the child, his attention once again immersed in his toys as he continued to build the tower higher and he realised that not a single trace of his earlier anxiety remained.

Leon couldn't deny that a part of him – that small and feeble child who'd always longed for a family – was a considerable motivation for why he and Cloud had come here today. He wanted to give that small boy a chance; the chance he'd never had because for years there had been an unfulfilled and unanswered part of Leon's soul. He'd filled it with so many things that had only eroded him further, and only Cloud, with the quiet and gentle way that he loved him had gone any way to healing those fractures. Cloud, who understood him better than anyone had ever done, who was patient and loving and had never questioned Leon's need for a family; who had brought him here in the first place. Cloud, who had helped him look into the dark and empty places of his heart and had filled them as best he could. And in his own subtle and knowing way, Cloud had shown him that it still wasn't too late to find the family he'd always wanted. There was a deep privation in Leon that even he couldn't fully express, yet spending just an hour with that boy had made him realise that it was not impossible to heal.

"So, what do you think?" The woman asked as they stepped out into the corridor and the door swung shut behind them.

"What?" Leon asked, his attention slightly distracted.

"You just met your son for the first time, how does it feel?"

Leon looked at Cloud who was looking at him with a wild eyed bewilderment. They shared the same knowing smile as Leon looked back over his shoulder at Sora, who was still playing happily in the other room.

"I have no idea." Leon laughed, struggling to find the words to convey his awe. "When can we see him again?"

"Next week, same time." She replied, leading them off down the corridor.

Leon was reluctant to move away from the door, but as Cloud reached out and took his hand, he relented; catching the small, goofy smile the blond threw his way.

"What?" He asked, nudging his lover in the shoulder as they walked.

"You're a bigger dork than I thought you were, Leonhart."

"Me?" Leon replied, sounding more offended than he actually was. "You're the one who named the duck Donald."

"Yeah, well I'll remember that the next time you're reading Sora a story and you do the voices."

Leon huffed a quiet laugh and squeezed Cloud's hand tighter.

"They're integral to the plot." He replied dryly.

Cloud scoffed, rolling his eyes as he shot the brunet's usual retort back at him and followed him out of the children's home and on to the busy street.

"Pfft, whatever."


	2. Chapter 2

" _How's the little chap to know_

 _Just the proper roads to go_

 _If you never travel with him_

 _While he's little, hand in hand?_

 _How's he ever going to learn_

 _Just what corners not to turn_

 _If you never try to tell him_

 _So that he can understand?"_

Fatherhood – Edgar Albert Guest.

 **Making Space**

Cloud kicked off his shoes and hung his coat up. He could hear music coming from somewhere in the house and leaving his small holdall by the shoe rack, he went in search of the source; placing his keys on the kitchen counter as he passed, he noticed the sink splashed with paint, a tray and a rolling brush soaking in the water.

"Lee?" he called, poking his head into the dining room to find it empty "Lee, I'm home."

When his only response was more idle music floating through the quiet house he ventured upstairs taking the steps slowly. It had been a long trip this time and he was jetlagged to hell, and he wanted nothing more than to surprise Leon with his early return home.

The music grew louder as he reached the landing and Cloud followed the noise, coming to stand in the doorway of their spare bedroom. His features shifted from curious to surprised, and then to soft affection as his gaze fell on his lover stood precariously on a step ladder, just a little too close to overbalancing as he secured the light fitting to the ceiling.

Leon's paint splattered shirt had ridden up, revealing the waist band of his underwear and the soft muscle of his stomach as he struggled with the fittings; a screwdriver lodged in his mouth as he worked with furrowed brows. He'd not noticed Cloud's arrival and the blond took the opportunity to observe his partner's handiwork.

The room had obviously taken him the whole week to decorate. Cloud hardly recognised it from the blank spare room it had been before he'd left. The walls were now baby blue, small stencils of planets and spaceships dotted along the back above the small bed, and the carpet had been ripped up to reveal the boards beneath it; sanded and varnished with a large rug thrown down. Along the wall adjacent to the window and the blinds with small stars on them, were shelves stuffed with toys and cuddly animals and books.

Cloud smiled in wonder and looked back up at Leon as he finally managed to attach the last of the fittings.

"Hey, I'm home," Cloud repeated, folding his arms across his chest and lent against the doorframe.

Leon startled a little bit, almost dropping the screwdriver as he wobbled on the step ladder and gave a small yelp of surprise.

"Cloud, you weren't supposed to be back till tomorrow."

"I finished early. Besides, I missed you," Cloud replied stepping into the room as Leon climbed down. He let the older man put his tools down and then reached out to pull him into a strong embrace, inhaling deeply as he tucked his head into Leon's neck and placed his warm lips there.

Leon stepped back slightly and kissed him.

"I missed you too," he replied lowly as they parted.

Cloud reached up and stroked a thumb across the paint smudge that sat just under his lover's left eye and a crooked affectionate smile turned his mouth "So you finished it then," he said, looking over Leon's shoulder at the colourful stencils painted on the wall.

Leon released his hold on the shorter man and stepped back, admiring the wall alongside his lover and reached up to scratch nervously at the back of his head.

"You don't think it's too much do you?"

"For a three year old?" Cloud replied, one eyebrow raised "I think you could have gone a bit more overboard to be honest," he looked up and smiled as he watched the mobile Leon had just finished fitting slowly spin around the lightbulb, the tiny spaceships glowing and casting colourful shadows on the walls as they turned.

"D'you think he'll like it?" Leon asked, sounding almost nervous as he picked up a stuffed lion from the dresser beside the wardrobe and studied it intently.

The apprehension in his lover's voice pulled Cloud's rapt attention away from Leon's hard work and the blond man turned, eyeing his partner carefully. His heart softened as he watched Leon squeeze the toy, his large and calloused hands gently petting the fur and Cloud stepped closer, taking the animal from Leon's grip and placed it back on the dresser.

"He'll love it," he said softly, turning his lover into him and running his hand's up his arms "Just like he already loves you."

Leon let out a shaky sigh and curled his arms around Cloud's waist, resting his forehead against his shoulder as they stood in a loose embrace and shared each other's quiet company.

"I can't believe he'll be here in less than a month," Leon finally said, his voice low and rumbled against Cloud's neck.

Cloud smiled and ran his fingers through the brunet's hair; petting it gently the way Leon had done to the lion. It had been a long eighteen months but in a strange way it had felt like no time at all, and Cloud felt the same stirrings of anxiety when he thought of all the things they still had to get done.

"And I can't believe you wore _my_ tee shirt to paint in. Look at this, it's ruined," he teased, pulling away to tug at the hem. Leon just smiled back crookedly from under tangled bangs.

"I missed you," he supplied with a simple shrug of his shoulders.

Cloud reached up and tugged lightly on Leon's hair, letting out a soft snort of amusement "Come on, I'm starving. Let's get something to eat and then hit the hay."

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," Leon replied as he followed his lover, hand in hand and stopped outside their own bedroom. Cloud turned to consider him, one eyebrow raised in none too subtle suggestion.

"Then we'd better make the most of it before Sora gets here," he said, pulling Leon by the hand and into the bedroom, completely forgetting that they'd set off in search of the kitchen and food.


End file.
